but she focuses too much, you know, out there.
She needs to start focusing more in here.
I mean, that's why I think she's had, uh...
whatever you wanna call it... problems in the past.
And that's what we're working on. Focus.
Focus. F-Focus on Maggie. Focus on Maggie.
- Mm-hmm. - Focus on Bob. Focus on Bob.
And I've been runnin' Maggie through these visualization exercises.
All the sports shrinks, uh, use this head stuff.
Uh, visualize the end zone.
Visualize that hole in one.
Tell me, when you get to the altar, will you spike the bouquet?
- Okay, you know what... - Well, I'm off.
A reporter's work is never done.
See you later. Bye, Mrs. Pressman. Thank you.
I'm gonna go focus on your eggs, Bob.
I'm glad you're here. I wanted to try to explain.
There are reasons why there have been three weddings and no "I do's."
Oh, you can't believe how much cake we got stuck with.
It's a wonder I don't weigh 300 pounds.
And then, her father bought all that booze that nobody drank.
- But he didn't mind that, I... - Hi, Grandma.
Hi, Netta.
Grammy here was giving me the skinny on why you run from marital bliss.
Right. Netta, cover up your ears.
It's not that she's afraid of the wedding.
- She's afraid of the wedding night! - Mmm!
Innocent girls are terrified of the one-eyed snake.
Why, when I was a virgin bride...
I took a knitting needle to bed with me.
Uh, Grandma...
I charmed the one-eyed snake a while ago.
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Well, I'll tell you one thing. Your grandpa never forgot that wedding night.
Netta, you can take your hands down.
- The tea's cold. - Good.
Can you excuse us for a minute? May I have a word with you, please?
Oh. Bye, Netta.
Bye. Thanks, Grammy.
Uh, I found this, and I didn't know if it was something interesting.
Oh, my. This is Miles Davis!
Oh, I was cleaning out the attic, and it was...
This is amaz... This is very hard to find in good condition.
You hold on to this. This is incredible.
- Why don't you take it? Hmm? - Huh?
Take it.
Okay, figuring out what kind of music I like...
finding me a rare album... not trying to butter me up, are you?
I was cleaning out the attic...
not attempting the impossible.
I smell trouble.
This is Cory Flemming, and I'll be featuring the music...
of "Denise and The Nephews" tomorrow morning on "Wake Up With Fle..."
What have we got here?
Come on, big guy.
Oh! Here. On our feet. There we go. Let's go!
Let's go, big guy. Yeah.
I haven't had any fun since you got your driver's license.
Well, let me give you a tip. I haven't been having a whole lot of fun either.
- Steady. - Good boy, Porthole.
- His name's Skipper, Dad. - I changed it.
Ah. Okay, step.
Ah, I'll be back later, Travis.
That guy Travis really has a problem.
- Mm. Okay. Here we are. - I'll ge... I'll get it.
Okay. Steady.
Now, I'm gonna... You're gonna lean. I'm gonna push.
Good daughters let their fathers pass out.
Hey, Walter. Right down there.
I-I... Please, please, don't write anything about...
No, forget about it. Don't... Don't even think about it.
I'm just so tired of this whole scene.
Why don't you just let him sleep it off here in the truck?
Come for a ride with me, and come back for him later.
Okay.
Today we took a walk
Up the street and picked a flower
And climbed the hill above the lake
Well, he's been drinking more and more since my mom passed away.
So, that's when you quit school to come back here?
Yeah, I had to come run the store for my dad.
Well, my dad had a small printing business.
He wanted me to become a classical musician.
My mother wanted me to be a novelist.
They were 0 for 2.
More? So, I, um...
I became a reporter.
Not quite a novelist, but as we all know...
journalism is literature in a hurry.
And I never saw blue like that
Before
Across the sky
What? What? What is this?
What kind of gas did you put in here? Diesel?
I don't know. The pump closest to the car.
Whoa!
This car takes unleaded. Your filter is clogged.
- Can you fix it? - I'm gonna need to get some tools.
Oh, good.
Kind of isolated here.
Yeah, it's nice.
Well, if there's one thing us New Yorkers know how to do...
that's hail a cab!
If there's no cab, we walk.
Uh, well... if we saved a battery here...
um, there's a place just down the way.
We country girls cut across the field. It's quicker.
Oh! Be careful of, um, snakes.
- What? - Snakes.
- I don't like snakes. - Walk nice. They won't get ya.
- Come on, come on. Come on. Come on! - What are you... What are you doing?
Snake dance?
I'm scaring the snakes.
- You're scaring me. - I'm scaring myself.
Do you think there's one right person for everybody?
No, but I think attraction is too often mistaken for rightness.
You know, attraction's very misleading. It's, uh...
Yes, it is. And it doesn't mean anything.
- No. No, no. No, no. - Give me your arm.
It means...
I, uh, suddenly forgot how to climb a fence.
- Tools. - Tools. Yeah.
Lionel? Do you have tools?
Hey, Maggie. What are you gonna do, bust out of another wedding?
Sure are well known 'round here.
No, no, no. No, Fish. It's almost done. I swear. I swear.
This story's taken a very interesting turn.
I, I got one more interview to do, up in New York.
- I-I'll see you there later. - From my head, to my heart
Kiss and find a way They're so far apart
You could have told me that you were fianc� number three.
And end up in the papers?
I've been humiliated enough already to last a lifetime, thank you.
I was traveling around studying...
the reproductive and migratory patterns of locusts...
when Maggie met me.
So, tell me, George, why do you think she ran?
Just like you said. What did you call her? A man-eater?
"Devouring death goddess," all right?
That's what I said. I don't think that's why she ran.
- Oh, why do you think she ran? - I don't know. I'm workin' on it.
- I was on the wrong track. - Are you... Are you defending her?
N-No! No, I, I call it like I see it, that's all. I'm a journalist.
- I'm a truth-teller. - Unbelievable!
- What? - She got to you too.
- Like a moth to a flame. - Please!
- Join the club. - What are you talking about?
I think that you need this much more than I do.
I am a journalist. I'm doing an article...
Look, see? See, I'm being paid. This will be published.
It's a cover story. I will tell the...
You will get all the facts, in the article.
Do you know what kind of eggs she liked?
Poached. Same as me.
Lost inside of you
That's what hurts
An overpriced apartment and Chinese takeout. That's New York living.
Fisher, don't forget the fortune cookies.
Oh, I already read the fortune. Y-You don't want to know.
Oh, he makes me crazy.
Hostility is a very important part of your foreplay, isn't it?
Well, it takes three people to make our marriage work:
him, me and our therapist.
Ellie, what went wrong?
With us. With the two of us, I mean.
You know, it's been... been a long time.
But do you remember?
Y-Yeah. Do I remember?
Of course I do.
Is that what... Did I do the same...
Is that what happened? Did I just not see you?
No. No, you didn't.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ellie.
I'm sorry, too, Ike.
Wow. That only took us 12 years to say.
Okay. I saw that, you cad.
You asked for it, you got it. Here you go. My dear.
There you are. Get your fortune. Let me see one.
All right, Confucius say...
"Man who leave wife alone with ex-husband may leave altogether."
Uh-huh.
- Lights are scary. - Hope it's better than last year.
- Or the last ten years. - Wow.
Let's have a hand for our fabulous hula dancers.
There they are. King and queen.
Walter, I'm thinking about going back to my maiden name.
Can you still remember it?
I'm not... It's not... You know...
It's just I haven't seen him in 24 hours...
and I would feel better...
if I knew where he was, you see?
In a little grass shack in Kealakekua, Hawaii
Welcome to our annual luau. What can I get you?
Aloha, Mr. Trout. Uh...
Have you got something without a toy in it?
All right.
- Get down, sweetheart. - The next three.
Yeah?
Oh, I'm hearing it. Here.
Aloha.
That's a very fetching headdress you're wearing.
Where did... Where did you disappear to?
Missed me bad, huh?
And we have our winner right here!
Yeah! Oh, all right, Bob.
Well, it's chow time here on the islands...
and we Trouts have prepared our traditional feast: "Shrimp Trout."
So, let's all, uh, meet over at the tables.
You're not allergic to shrimp, are you?
- Mm-mm. No. - Oh. Pity.
Attention! Pay attention to Walter.
Listen closely. He slurs.
In the tradition that has, uh, grown over the years...
it is now toast time.
First up, our host, Lou... a honey of a beekeeper... Trout.
May the groom's heart be filled with hope...
and the bride's feet filled with lead.
- That was good. - May the pitter-patter of little feet not be Maggie's.
Amen to that.
May the gifts be returnable.
- I took mine back. - You know the old saying.
Uh, "you're not losing a daughter"? Well, I'd like to!
Maggie may not be Hale's longest-running joke...
but she is certainly the fastest!
Good one, Dad.
Uncle Walter, maybe Mr. Graham...
Ah! Here we are. Would you like to say something, Mr. Graham?
Yeah, just a minute. Just a minute. I don't know yet. You okay?
Come on, Ike. Take a shot at Maggie live.
It's much more fun than print.
- Excuse me? - Well, it's a joke.
- They're kidding, Ike. - Uh-huh.
- Yeah, come on. Come on. Let's go. - Ike!
- Come on! - Come on!
All right. I'll add a toast!
Yeah! Come on!
To, uh, to Maggie's family and friends.
May you find yourselves...
the bull's-eye of an easy target.
May you be publicly flogged for all of your bad choices...
and may your noses...
be rubbed in all of your mistakes.
Well, that was funny, but enough toasting. Let's hula!
Everybody! Let's get up and, uh, start the band!
Up. And, everybody, we're gonna make a line right down here.
- Everybody up. - Maggie.
- Maggie? - Lou, where are those hula dancers?
- Honey, go find the girls. - Here. She might need this.
- Everybody gets a hula lesson! - Where'd Maggie go to?
Oh, she just went to get me something from her car.
- Well, maybe she needs help. - Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob!
- Okay. The guard. Who threw the block. - Yeah.
- Okay? Forrest Gregg. - No, no, no. Elijah Pitts.
- He was a running back. - The Fridge. "Refrigerator" Perry?
Maggie? Hey.
Here's a coat. Put this coat on. It's cold out here.
Don't pretend to be a nice person.
I was the only person in there defending you.
- You humiliated me! - No, Maggie. I defended you.
Humiliating you is what everyone else did in there!
- That is the theme of the party tonight. - No, no.
It was under control. Now they all feel sorry for me.
Well, they should. They're about to see you hang yourself again.
- Well, what do you keep... - Tell me something.
Do you really care about Mount Everest?
I... It's fun. It's high!
Sexual practices of locusts?
Every one of those times, I was being supportive.
Not supportive! You weren't being supportive. You were scared!
You were scared then. You're scared now.
- You are the most lost woman I have... - Lost?
Yes, lost. You're so...
You were so lost, you didn't even know what kind of eggs you like.
- Yes! - What?
Yes. Yes, that's right. With the priest, you wanted scrambled.
With... With the Deadhead, it was fried.
With the other guy, the bug guy, it was... it was poached.
Now, it's like, "Oh, e-egg whites only. Thank you very much."
That is called "changing your mind."
No, that's called not having a mind of your own!
Maggie, what are you doing?
You really want that guy up there to drag you up Anapurna?
For your honeymoon?
You do not want to climb Anapurna!
Yes, I do!
No, you don't.
You want a man who'll lead you down the beach...
with his hand over your eyes...
just so you can discover the feel of sand under your feet.
You want a guy that'll wake you up at dawn...
because he's bursting to talk to you.
Can't wait another minute, just to find out what you'll say.
Am I right?
Stop it.
I am getting married on Sunday.
And you are just trying to make me run...
because you're a cynical, exploitative...
mean-hearted creep...
who wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the armpit.
All you do is...
is tear others down...
and... and... and laugh at them and criticize what they do...
because you're too afraid to do anything yourself.
I read your columns.
You never once wrote anything about yourself.
I am not the only one that is lost.
And you know it.
Am I right?
Mag? Hey! Help me out here.
Green Bay right guard. Uh, uh, you know, Bart Starr? Uh...
- You okay? - Yes.
- Take you inside. Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Okay.
- Jerry Kramer. - Jerry Kramer!
- Grandma. What's for lunch? - Mac and cheese.
Honey, your grandmother and I are thinking about having...
a wedding gift museum.
- Stop. - What?
Stop. Don't say another word like that.
- Maggie, it was just a joke. - No!
It's humiliating, and it's gone on long enough.
You may not like that you have a daughter with problems.
But guess what.
I don't like that I have a father who's drunk all the time.
I'll eat in my room.
Okay. Tell me why Maggie's having another rehearsal?
And two days before the wedding. She's already done this!
Well, Bob insisted she visualize the ceremony.
Okay! We're ready!
- Do you want me to have Ike leave now? - Uh, actually, let's make Ike the pastor.
- Ah, I'd rather not. - No, it'll give you a great view.
- I think it's perfect. Okay? Hey. - Hey!
- Okay! Team effort, Pastor Ike. - Yeah, we could hurry this up.
- He's going to be the pastor? - Yes.
Yes, because I want him front and center...
so he can just see everything.
- Have a seat. Right there. That's it. - Okay.
- Cindy! Foyer. - Okay.
Ready?
What happened at the luau?
I... I don't... I... I don't want to talk about the luau, okay?
- What is this? - That's for the bell. - Oh.
- Bob's in a hurry. - Oh.
- Girls? - Okay, Maggie. Remember what Bob said.
- Let us visualize. Be the ball. - Sink the putt.
- Make the shot. - Nothin' but net.
- Never say die. - Move your butts.
- Girls! Where are you? - On our way, Coach.
Oh. This is the bell.
Ooh.
Whoa!
Whoa! Tough... Whoa!
What's she doing?
She's "being the bell," instead of the ball.
"Sanctuary. Sanctuary."
Mags, you okay?
Anyway.
Oh.
Look, at this pace, this could become an evening wedding.
Okay, okay. You know something?
It's great. I just think we're taking this a little too fast. Right?
You're tensing? You feel it? Right?
We just need to limber you up for a second, okay?
- Ike, come here. Come here. - Yeah.
All right, you're me. Stand here so she knows how far she's gotta come.
Honey? I'm gonna walk with you. Okay? And...
Now he's the groom?
Just relax. Limber. Visualize, visualize.
Relax. Limber.
And...
you are the football spiraling through the air...
to the waiting hands of the groom...
"I'm spiraling through the air.
I am...
streaking toward the...
goal line..."
All right. Keep eye contact. Keep eye contact...
"And I land on the goal line."
Good. Good.
Good, okay. And I'm the pastor, and I say...
"Dearly beloved, uh, we're gathered here...
blah, blah, blah, blah, so on and so forth, rat-a-tat-tat, yabba dabba...
Uh, I now pronounce you man and wife."
Kiss the bride. We have the organ crescendo.
That just leads us right on down the aisle.
And we are man and...
No-o!
Maggie? Uh, Mag...
Okay, okay. Well, okay. Okay, so if you, uh...
If you were imagining me, y-y-you did grea...
- What the hell were you doing? - Uh, Bob, I'm really sorry about th...
She kissed me back.
- I kissed you back? - Yes, you did. You kissed me back.
Yeah, caught that.
You want to tell me how long this has been going on?
- About a minute. - A little longer for me.
- Really? - Yeah.
What do you expect me to say to this?
- Hello? - Well, Bob, you could say, uh...
"Well, I hope you two will be really happy together."
I hope you two will be really happy together.
Uh, uh... Take care of him.
- Oh! Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah.
Bob? Bob!
Bob, I'm sorry. I'm... I...
At least this time I backed out before the wedding! I...
That's progress!
You are going to find some woman who can make you so much happier...
than I ever could!
- Look out. - Ooh! See?
See? I-It's happening already.
- She's good with needy men. - Yeah.
Uh, yeah. Well, um...
- Why don't you just call me later? - Yeah.
- Okay. - Bob?
This may not be a good time, but here's my number.
Drive safely, Bob!
Kid wants to lock up, go home.
- How's Bob? - Mm.
Okay.
So, what just happened just now?
- Then. In there. - I don't know. I-I...
I frankly... I don't even want to talk about it.
Me neither.
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Wait. No, no, no. No. No, we can't...
Stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We gotta...
We have to talk. We have... We have to talk!
We have to do some talking now, all right?
Just come over here.
- Pull up a... Pull up a rail. - I was enjoying it.
- Okay. - All right. We're...
- Just give me a little space here. - Okay.
I'm... All right.
Do you think may...
Well, you do have a dress.
And the church.
And the wedding date.
And there's the two of us.
Maybe...
You do have to go down the aisle...
with somebody...
that you love...
and who loves you back.
Who?
I'm okay with that.
So am I.
I'm getting married.
You do this often?
Well, there's not a lot to do around here.
I just believe he's listening to you.
His hair, any color...
I like his tight butt.
- Grandma. - Well, I do.
Look, I'll see you at the wedding then. Right?
I mean, you're gonna be there, huh? It's gonna be in 37 hours.
I didn't miss the first one.
We're gonna spend part of the time here in town...
'cause he wants to write a book.
Well, you always wanted to write a novel!
I feel inspired here. I feel... I feel like I can write. I wanna write.
Ike is getting married!
Fisher, if you pee on that Persian, I'm gonna kill you.
Hi! It's him. He's on the phone.
I love you
- Hi. - Hi.
- Hi. What are you doin'? - Nothin'.
- Pick that up. - What are you doin'?
- That's all right. That's all right. - Nothin'.
Wow, I see the most beautiful girl...
He can see me.
That's trump.
Ah! Double dutch! Double du...
You were trying to cheat. It doesn't work!
Get to me magically Sure as the sky is blue
- Yeah - Oh, my God.
I'm the winner!
See now, this is a mature relationship.
Dramatically acting Erratically need you
Fanatically You get to me magically
Sure as the sky is blue
Baby, I love you
Do you love me too
Baby, I love you
Wedding bells are ringing today in Hale, Maryland.
Maggie Carpenter... always a bride, never a bridesmaid...
is attempting to complete her fourth wedding ceremony.
We'll be back when results are in. Back to you, Jessica.
Well, the turnout for this morning's ceremony...
is usually saved for royalty or Hollywood movie stars...
but Maggie Carpenter is Hale, Maryland's very own...
Hey, T-shirts here. I got "Bye-Bye Bridey."
I got "What part of 'I do' don't you understand?"
Hey, get your "Runaway Bride" T-shirts here.
Will she or won't she? That is on the minds of these several hundred folks...
that are standing here this morning not to mention on the mind...
of groom number four, who is missing in action.
- He's gonna stand me up. - Oh, of course he's gonna come.
Because today I saw eight geese flying in a "V."
Oh, you with the lucky geese. You always see geese!
- Not eight! - Eight, and in a "V."
- Eight is better? - Eight in a "V."
- Can you imagine? - "V." "V" for, uh, "victory"!
- Victory! - Victory!
- And "velcro." - Okay.
Velcro is stuck together!
"Virginal."
Well...
- Well, you know... - I'm sweaty. I'm-I'm nervous...
- Where are my bags? - Okay.
- No bags. Bags are for later. Um... - No. Yes, yes.
- Rub your ears. Rub your ears. - Rub your ears. That's a great idea.
That's a very good idea. Rub your ears.
Cory does that to me sometimes, with a little...
- And you just, whoo! - We do it to the dog.
Get your "I Don't Think She Will" shirt.
These shirts are not sold in stores!
- Here comes Ike Graham! - Show time!
That's better. That's, uh... That's pretty nice, actually.
- Yeah? - Yeah. - That's nice.
- He's here! - Who's here? I see him! - He's here.
And Ike Graham has arrived at the church.
- Is this your first marriage? - Is this your last marriage?
- Any little Grahams in the future? - Oh, he gets whacked!
All right. Okay. First. Yes. Okay.
- All right. Okay. Okay. - Would you get it off?
- Who makes this? Who? Who? - All right.
- The veil is not attacking you. - Okay. Okay.
- Now is the time to calm down. - Yes.
Because if you don't get calm, we won't get your dress on.
A girl can't get married in flannel.
He's the one.
He really is the one.
- Ike! - You're not invited! You got...
Robert, please! Go back to New York. Get outta here.
He's the one!
We, we, we gotta hurry, 'cause the Sunday school kids are coming.
- Mrs. Pressman... - Don't worry. There's no microphone.
Please. Put it there.
- No fun. - No. No fun.
Listen, I was going to do this Scorsese thing, where I come down the aisle...
Whatever, just do it. Shoot, shoot. Shoot.
- Ike. - Friends! Oh, God.
God, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you. We are friends, aren't we, Fisher?
- Of course we are, of course. - Yes, and you'll be my best man.
I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm the best.
You just go over and see the pastor. He'll tell you what to do.
- All right. - If someone will tell me what to do.
Mm. You always looked great in that suit.
And, Ike, I'm happy for you, honey.
I have a car waiting out back for you just in case she decides to run.
I have an invitation. Lou, he's with me.
You look terrible.
Thanks.
Here.
- Ike, I'm glad it's you. - Really?
I wouldn't want to have found out...
that I wasn't the one for her in the fourth quarter.
Well, Coach, any final advice?
- Maintain eye contact. - Eye contact.
Eye contact. Eye contact. Eye contact.
I'm not coming up here. It's just that you want to look...
just special for the wedding.
You know, you should thank me and Lou for lending you the wedding car.
- '63 Buick. - Thank you, Mrs. Trout.
Oh, what are you saying? We're practically family.
- How's that there? - Hello.
- My name is Fisher. What's yours? - You look so nice. Nice. Betty.
That doesn't want to come out, does it?
- You just pulled a hair from my neck. - There we are. Okay.
- Mrs. Trout. Mrs. Trout, please. - This is fine.
- This is my wedding. You know? - Yes!
Come sit down. Thank you. We're starting pretty soon.
- Who was that? - Mrs. Trout.
- He doesn't have... - Don't do... Don't. Don't.
- I just wanted that to be able to... - Don't. Don't.
- Over there in the pocket. Right in the pocket. - Don't do...
- Please! Just go s... - That's nice!
- Good luck, sweet girl. - Oh! Thank you, Grandma. I love you.
- I'm really rooting for this one. - Okay, Dad.
The place is packed, with the whole town of Hale on the bride's side...
and with many New Yorkers on the groom's side.
- Is this taken? - No.
- I'm Elaine, from Manhattan. - I'm Bob, Maggie's fourth attempt.
- I'm sorry. - That's okay.
There's a lid for every pot. And I'm... I'm comfortable with Ike, you know.
It's like Jack Dempsey lost his heavyweight title to a New Yorker.
Right. Gene Tunney.
- Oh. - Spit.
Let's go.
Uh, okay. Um, no sauntering down the aisle.
I don't like that. Just make time. Just get there. Just go.
- Fine. - Okay.
All rise, please.
The bride is walking down the aisle.
Maggie Carpenter is walking down the aisle.
- Don't stop... - Oh, she's pausing.
- Keep eye contact. - Come on. Stay with me.
Keep eye contact...
Please be seated. Thank you.
I sneaked in a camera.
We are gathered here today... Please, no cameras now.
Could we hold off photos until the end of the ceremony? Thank you.
- Oh... - We are gathered here today... - No!
- Where is she going? - Don't!
- Maggie! - Lock the doors!
Please be seated!
No, Maggie! Don't!
Mag... No! Come here!
Oh, never a dull moment at a Maggie wedding!
There's a man coming down the stairs with lots of candy in his pockets...
and if you tickle him, he'll give you all of his candy.
- Here you go, little queen. - Maggie!
Maggie!
- Give me some candy! - Whoa, ho! Whoa. No, no, no. Not me.
No, don't cry! Don't cry!
No, no! Get her! It's an Armani suit!
Wait!
- Wait! - Maggie!
Go. Go. Go, go.
Maggie! Maggie!
Don't do it! Don't! Maggie!
- He's running after her. - He's in pretty good shape too.
Maggie! No, Maggie!
Where do you think she's going?
Well, wherever it is, she'll be there by 10:30 tomorrow.
Maggie! Don't!
Maggie! Don't! No!
Maggie!
Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham!
Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham, how do you feel now?
Mr. Graham. Mr. Graham. What is your next move?
- How do you feel right now? - What will you do now?
I know you must feel terrible.
What would you think about giving her a second chance?
- Mr. Graham! - Mr. Graham, talk to us. - That's enough.
- Come on. Leave him alone. - What will you do now? - Mr. Graham, just a couple of questions.
"Hardware Honey Goes Nuts And Bolts." How many times is she gonna do this?
Aura Lee, Aura Lee
And finally, in local news, the mayor has requested...
that we all stop gossiping about last week's...
Maggie Carpenter almost wedding.
This is Cory Flemming, for WHALE, saying...
may the good Lord make you smart enough to live in a small town.
And we cut.
Camera loves ya.
- Hey, you okay? - Yeah.
I'm closing. You want to go to Butch's for a drink?
Uh... You know, I'm gonna finish up here...
and then I think I'll just head home.
Okay.
You know...
I was thinking about that "V" thing...
and I think the "V" in the geese was half...
of a "W" for...
For, uh, w-w-w-w...
- What are you talking about? - Wedding! Wedding!
You just gotta get the rest of your ducks in a row.
Thank you.
- So, you still think that he... - You're quick.
You're very quick.
I thought that
You'd be lovin' me
I thought you were the one who'd
Stay forever
But now forever's come and gone
And I'm still here alone
'Cause you were only playin'
You were only playin' with my heart
I was never waiting
for the tears to start
- It was you - It was you
Who put the clouds above me
- It was you - It was you
Who made the tears fall down
- It was you - It was you
Who broke my heart in pieces
It was you, it was you
Who made my blue eyes blue
Oh, oh, I never should have trusted you
Okay. Here we go.
And I thought that
I'd be all you need
In your eyes I thought I saw my face
- Hey, Ike. How's it goin'? - Hey, Robert.
That good, huh?
'Cause you had me believin' in a lie
Guess I couldn't see it
I guess I couldn't see it till I saw good-bye
It was you
Who put those clouds around me
It was you
Who made the tears fall down
Only you
Who broke my heart in pieces
It was you
- Yeah, hi. It's me. - It was you
- Leave a message after the beep. - Who made my blue eyes blue
Oh, oh, never should have trusted you
Hello, Ike.
Don't tell me. My doorman is one of your many admirers.
I've been making friends with your cat. Is it okay that I'm here?
I don't have much choice in the matter, do I?
But I can't speak for Italics! Traitor.
I don't blame you for being mad.
Or furious.
Irate? Livid.
So, what is it, Maggie? You in business?
Oh, yeah, I saw your lamps.
They're terrific. Yeah, really.
It's something that I've always wanted to do, and...
You know, you could make breaking and entering into a new career.
So. What are you doing here, anyway?
I wanted to...
talk to you about...
why I run... sometimes ride...
away from things.
- Does it matter? - I think so.
When I was walking down the aisle...
I was walking toward somebody...
who had no idea...
who I really was.
And it was only half the other person's fault...
because I had done everything to convince him...
that I was exactly what he wanted.
So, it was good that I didn't go through with it...
because it would have been a lie.
But you...
You knew the real me.
Yes, I did.
I didn't.
Still, I ended up chasing a truck.
I can't, um, do anything about the truck...
but, uh...
- Benedict. - Arnold.
I love eggs Benedict.
I hate all the other kinds of eggs.
I hate big weddings. Everybody staring.
I'd like to get married on a weekday, while everybody's at work.
- Mm-hmm. - And if I ride off into the sunset...
I want my own horse.
- Should I be writing this down? - And there's something else.
No, no, you can tell me. You can tell me. Don't... Come... Okay.
These are for you.
- Uh, used... - Well, they're mine.
I'm turning in my running shoes to you.
This is serious.
And there's one more thing. I know, the mind reels that there could be more...
after... after this, but, um...
if you could just have a seat.
Oh!
Here, let's just not have that there. Okay.
Okay.
- Oh, no. My God, no. - No, no. Don't hide your face.
This happens once in a lifetime, and it's definitely a first for me.
And you're not gonna want to miss it, so pay close attention.
I love you, Homer Eisenhower Graham.
Will you marry me?
- I gotta think about this a little bit. - Okay, good.
- I was hoping that you would say that. - You were not!
- No, no, I was, I was. - Not true! - Because if you'd said yes right away...
I wouldn't be able to do this next part I've been practicing, so let me just...
Okay.
- Ready? - I'm listening.
I guarantee that we'll have tough times.
And I guarantee that at some point...
one, or both of us, will want to get out.
But I also guarantee...
that if I don't ask you to be mine...
I'll regret it for the rest of my life...
because I know in my heart...
you're the only one for me.
That's a pretty good speech, Maggie.
I borrowed it from this writer I know.
So?
Dance with me.
We are gathered here today to celebrate the union...
of Maggie Carpenter and Ike Graham.
- Do you have the rings? - Yes.
Do you, Ike, take Maggie to be your lawfully wedded wife?
I do.
Do you, Maggie, take Ike to be your lawfully wedded husband?
I do.
In this life that you share together...
may your individuality strengthen your love.
With the power vested in me...
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Guess what. She did it!
Maggie Carpenter got married.
Alleluia
Betty, she did it! She did it!
- I need love, love, to ease my mind - Alleluia, alleluia
I need to find, find someone to call mine
But Mama said you can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
I can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait
You gotta just give it time
No matter how long it takes
But how many heartaches
Must I stand
Before I find a love to let me live again
Right now the only thing that keeps me hangin' on
When I feel my strength Yeah, it's almost gone
- I remember Mama said - You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
How long must I wait How much more can I take
Before loneliness will cause my heart, heart to break
I can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait
She said just give it time
- No matter how long it takes - Now, wait
Girl, I live for how you make me feel
So I question all this being real
'Cause I'm not afraid to love
For the first time I'm not afraid of love
Oh, this day seems made for you and me
And you showed me what life needs to be Yeah, you sang to me
Oh, you sang to me
All the while you were in front of me
I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it
I can't believe it, whoa, but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it
When you sing to me
Where were you on our wedding day
I got bad news that you went away
Where were you on our wedding day
You did me wrong and now you must pay
- Whoa-oh - Whoa-oh
- And give me back my ring - My ring
- Whoa-oh - Whoa-oh
- I ain't gonna let you keep a thing - A thing
Whoa-oh
Where were you when I said, I do
Everybody laughed and my in-laws too
Where were you when I turned around
Someplace you knew you never could be found
- Whoa-oh - Whoa-oh
- Give me back my ring - My ring
- Whoa-oh - Whoa-oh
I ain't gonna let you keep a thing
- A thing - Whoa-oh
Mm-mm-mm
My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel
'Cause my heart's been fooled before
Am I just seeing what I want
To see
Or is it true
Could you really be
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
Through all my ups and downs
Please tell me now
Before I fall in love
It's been so hard for me
To give my heart away
But I would give my everything
Just to hear you say
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
Please tell me now
Before I fall
In love
Ooh-ooh
Before I fall
In love